gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
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