He is an equal opportunity slut.
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
Randomize
