they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
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