their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
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