it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
Randomize
