this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
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