dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
