Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
You're gonna be sprawled out basking in the sun working on your tan like a ridiculously hot iguana, and I'm gonna be here bundled up in about 72 layers just so I don't freeze my dick off looking like the Michelin man's gay cousin
i apologize, I may have called you an iguana
Mistakes were made
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
Randomize
