You really coming over, don't trick.
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize
