i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
I will pee on everything he values.
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
Randomize
