dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
Only a mothe r could love this liver
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
Randomize
