somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
Randomize
