Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
Randomize
