I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
Randomize
