i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
Randomize
