I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
