he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
Randomize
