I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
Randomize
