I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
Randomize
