He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
It's just like the Real World with babies
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
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