He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
