you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
Randomize
