yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
Randomize
