you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
I think we might need a safe word for this...
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
Randomize
