i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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