so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
I just had to pull over at a starbucks to throw up in the bathroom. They really should not have let me be a lawyer.
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
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