I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
Thanks for FaceTime'ing with that ugly chick last night while me and her friend were in the other room. it's good to know I can still count on my wingman even when we're 2000 miles apart
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
Randomize
