Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize