I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
Randomize
