So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
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