Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
jump out the window naked night went bad
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Randomize
