Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Randomize