6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
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