Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
Randomize
