You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
Randomize
