I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
Randomize