Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
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