yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
Randomize
