Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
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