Soap is not a condiment
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
