Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
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