he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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