I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
Randomize