Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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