That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
Randomize
