so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize
