Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
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