And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
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