what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
