A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
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