fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
The free coupon that printed out with the purchase of my plan b emergency contraception was for allergy meds. I feel like a coupon for condoms would've been more fitting in this situation.
Oh wait. It's for wart remover. Fitting, afterall.
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
Randomize
