i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
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