The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
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