Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
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