i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
Randomize
