I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
Randomize
