I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Randomize
