I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
Randomize
