Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
Randomize
