It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
Randomize