new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
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