Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
Randomize
