Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
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