How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
Randomize
