it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
Randomize
